Strength Builders
How to build a stronger stress cup so you can handle more of life's shit without breaking.
Stealth Health: Chapter 8 - Strength Builders
Strength training isn't about getting big muscles - it's about building a thicker wall for your stress cup so you can handle ND family chaos without breaking.
In Chapter 7, you learned about the No Workout Approach for daily movement. Now let's explore how to build serious strength in just 5–20 minutes a day.
Let me paint a picture you might recognize.
Your body is letting you down, and other people are starting to notice.
In your 20s, you could do whatever you wanted - eat anything, go out Friday and Saturday night, still play a full match on Sunday, then back it up with pickup basketball on Monday. No dramas.
But as priorities change and work and family become the main focus, your health and fitness go on the back-burner.
Now you're dealing with the “ND parent body” - not necessarily overweight, but soft, tired, and running on empty.
You're no longer jumping out of bed when the alarm goes off, constantly running from one family errand to another, playing taxi between kids' activities, then begging for the end of the day so you can crash on the couch.
You feel trapped in this body, in this life - but there's a way to build the strength you need to handle your spicy family chaos.
The solution isn't what you think. It's not about building bigger muscles.
Building a Thicker Stress Cup Wall
Strength Builders aren't about getting big muscles or looking good naked - they're about building a thicker wall for your stress cup.
Think of your stress cup like a glass container.
The No Workout Approach helps manage what goes into the cup, but Strength Builders make the glass itself thicker and more anti-fragile.
When you have a stronger cup, you can withstand more stress throughout your day without shattering.
This means you can handle meltdowns, work pressure, and family chaos without losing your cool.
You become the parent who can carry sleeping kids upstairs without your back giving out, move furniture when your partner needs help, and say “hell yes” when friends need someone strong enough to help them move.
Strength isn't just about muscles - it's about crafting a resilient, pain-free life that can handle whatever your ND family throws at you.
And here's the best part - this approach follows everything you learned about F.L.O.W.
The best part about Strength Builders is they follow the F.L.O.W. principles.
Fun: We use movements that feel natural and purposeful, not boring gym exercises.
Light: The system is designed to be simple enough to do even on your worst days.
Organised: Everything is structured so you know exactly what to do without decision fatigue.
Worthy: Every minute you spend makes you more capable of showing up for your family.
You can start with just 5 minutes a day and work up to as much as you want.
Most activities can include the family, so you're not taking time away from your kids - you're modelling healthy habits while building your capacity for life.
This isn't about finding time away from family to work out - it's about building strength that serves your ND family life.
So how exactly do you build this strength? I use a system specifically designed for ND brains.
Rest-Based Training for ND Brains
ND parents need a training system that works with their brain, not against it - that's where Rest-Based Training comes in.
Hat tip to Jade Teta who taught me this concept which I have adapted for our own needs as ND parents.
Rest-Based Training (RBT) is a simple system that takes less than 20 minutes and removes all the confusion about what to do.
It's based on one core principle: “Work till you can't, rest till you can.”
You push until you can no longer maintain proper form, then you rest until you feel recovered enough to continue with good technique.
This puts YOU in charge of your recovery, not some predetermined timer that doesn't account for your ND brain and body's needs.
The system is adaptable to any person in any situation, focuses on self-determination and self-regulation, and is simple enough that you can just focus on the work.
RBT works because it honours how your ND brain actually functions instead of forcing you into a neurotypical training box.
Here's how the system works in practice.
The key to RBT is understanding the exertion scale and following quality over quantity rules.
Level 1: At rest, no exertion.
Level 2: Can talk, slight burn, moderate effort.
Level 3: Can't talk, strong burn, heavy effort.
Level 4: Must stop, close to failure.
For most ND parents, you'll stay at Level 2, occasionally spiking to Level 4.
The quality rules are simple:
Never miss a rep. Always leave 1-3 reps in reserve - meaning you finish knowing you could do 1-3 more reps if forced to.
Rest as needed using the exertion scale,
Complete all reps before moving to the next exercise
If your form breaks down after 5 push-ups, but you need 10, you MUST rest until you can complete all 10 with good form.
This approach prevents injury, makes progress predictable, and ensures you have enjoyable workouts that you actually want to repeat.
Some days you will feel great and will be able to crush your workouts
Some days you will feel flat and what felt easy before feels extremely hard.
Such is the ND way. We have our ups and downs. RBT flows with us so we can ride the wave and progress without the risk of burnout or injury.
Now let me show you exactly what this looks like in practice.
The Simple 4-Exercise Circuit
Strength Builders use a simple 4-exercise circuit that hits everything you need in minimal time.
For a complete exercise list and sample workouts, see the resource section.
1A: Lower Body (squats, lunges, deadlifts),
1B: Upper Body Push (push-ups, overhead press),
1C: Upper Body Pull (pull-ups, rows),
1D: Core/Carry/Conditioning (planks, carries, short sprints).
You perform these in circuit fashion, moving from one exercise to the next with minimal rest.
For example: 3–6 reps of squats, then 3–6 reps of push-ups, then 3–6 reps of rows, then 30 seconds of plank.
That's one round.
You repeat as many rounds as possible (AMRAP) in your available time, following the “work till you can't, rest till you can” principle.
This simple structure removes all decision fatigue - you just show up and follow the circuit.
Here's where this system gets really clever - the progression is automatic.
Progression is the key to building a stronger stress cup, and it's built into the system automatically.
After each workout, you count how many rounds you completed.
If you got more than 5 rounds: increase the weight or difficulty next time you do the workout
If you got 3, 4, or 5 rounds: keep everything the same. You hit the sweat spot
If you got less than 3 rounds: decrease the weight or difficulty next time.
This takes all the guesswork out of progression. Your body tells you exactly what to do next time.
No complicated percentages, no confusing periodisation - just simple, automatic progression based on your actual performance.
The system adapts to you, not the other way around.
Note: For more workout ideas, exercise lists and a full 9-week program. See the resources section of the book.
And of course, this integrates perfectly with your Colour Code capacity.
The beauty of Strength Builders is how they scale with the Colour Code system.
Red Light (5 minutes): Do one round of the 4-exercise circuit, focusing on perfect form. This alone will maintain and slowly build strength over time.
Yellow Light (10-15 minutes): Do as many rounds as possible in your available time, following all the RBT rules.
Green Light (20+ minutes): Go for maximum rounds, or do two different circuits back-to-back with a 5-minute rest between them.
The system works whether you have 5 minutes or 50 minutes, and you're always making progress toward a stronger, more resilient stress cup.
This flexibility means you never have an excuse not to show up, and you never feel guilty about “only” doing 5 minutes.
This is what Stealth Health looks like in practice.
Remember, this is Stealth Health - your family doesn't see you “working out,” they see you getting stronger to serve them better.
You're not disappearing to the gym for hours.
You're doing push-ups in the living room while your kids play nearby.
You're doing squats while dinner cooks.
You're building the physical capacity to carry sleeping children, move furniture, play actively with your kids, and handle the physical demands of ND parent life without breaking down.
Your strength training serves your family instead of competing with it.
And that's the power of Strength Builders - they make you more useful to your tribe while sitting completely under the radar.
Let me be clear about what we're building toward.
The goal isn't to become a bodybuilder or powerlifter - it's to become unbreakable in the face of daily challenges.
You want to be the parent who can say goodbye to nagging back pain from carrying car seats and diaper bags.
You want to prevent the injuries that sideline other parents.
You want to maintain vitality and independence as you age, and set an inspiring example of health for your children.
When your stress cup has thicker walls, you can handle more of life's chaos without having a spillover effect.
You become calmer, more patient, and more present because your body isn't constantly fighting just to keep up.
You can have that ice cream, or pizza with the kids. Because your stress cup can handle it.
A strong ND parent is a cornerstone of a thriving spicy family - by investing in your strength, you're investing in their future.
Now that you understand how to build strength, let's explore how to expand your capacity and energy through cardiovascular fitness.
