Stealth Health: Chapter 1 - You’re Not Broken
You're not broken - you just need tools designed for your unique ND brain instead of the neurotypical solutions and systems that ignore your reality.
Before kids, I powered through any fitness program with pure willpower and discipline.
Two-hour workouts? Done. Strict meal plans? No Problem.
Then in 2016, parenthood hit hard. Our newborn son got salmonella at just three months old.
What followed was brutal. He couldn't sleep more than 4 hours at a time for 2 years.
The lack of sleep changed everything.
My willpower, which used to fuel morning workouts, now went to midnight feeds and diaper changes.
When I tried forcing my old programs into my new dad-life reality, I crashed and burned.
That's when I started to realise that something needed to change about how I think about fitness for ND parents.
The Lie That Fitness “Gurus” Tell ND Parents
Looking back, I realise I was part of this problem.
I was that wannabe fitness guru who used to preach paleo and keto to everyone.
I'd tell parents that “kids are just an excuse.”
Secretly, I just thought they lacked the discipline needed to make it work.
Boy was I wrong…
The most damaging thing fitness gurus do?
They make you believe you failed because you're weak. I even did it to myself.
I started calling myself a lazy dad who'd given up.
Depression started creeping in when my old discipline and willpower tricks stopped working.
Here's what I learned from my own struggle and working with hundreds of ND parents. The real truth is you don't lack willpower or discipline.
The problem is that ND family life eats up every bit of mental energy you have.
Meltdowns at breakfast. Sensory issues at dinner. Homework battles.
By evening, you're running on empty.
But here's the good news: when you find something that actually fits your brain and your life, you'll rarely miss a day.
So what does this look like in practice?
Here's what I learned after working with hundreds of ND parents: Most people see neurodiversity as an obstacle.
They're wrong. Your ND brain or family isn't a weakness. It's your secret weapon.
When you adapt systems to work WITH your brain instead of against it, that's when the magic happens.
Your ND traits become the reason fitness finally sticks
You're not broken - you're just trying to fit into systems that weren't designed for your spicy ND brain and family.
But why do these systems fail ND parents so consistently? Let me break it down.
Why Traditional Programs Are Built for Different Brains
The fitness world has one message:
Willpower and discipline solve everything.
Here's what typical fitness programs assume:
You have endless willpower.
You can maintain perfect consistency.
You'll follow the plan exactly as written.
But they miss the complexity of ND life.
Meltdowns and sensory overload drain your willpower battery
Dysregulation kills your energy.
And if you hate what you're doing, your brain will get distracted and switch off.
The real problem with the fitness industry is that it sells highlight reels, not real life.
It doesn't show the raw, messy reality we ND parents face daily.
Every failed attempt loads more shame onto your shoulders.
Why can't we make it work?
The fitness industry recycles the same tired advice every year.
It's a discipline problem.
'Stick to the plan.'
'No pain, no gain.'
'Just push through.'
When in fact, it's an adaptation problem.
They forget that real life includes meltdowns, overstimulation, and chaos.
Then your brain struggles to cooperate, making tasks feel impossible.
Typical programs are designed by neurotypical people for neurotypical people.
These programs expect predictable, consistent behavior without the beautiful chaos of your neurodivergent brain.
No wonder you keep 'failing' at programs that were never designed for you in the first place.
Let me give you a simple way to think about this.
The problem with neurotypical fitness advice? It's like being given a screwdriver to hammer in nails.
The good news? There's a way out of this trap.
The Relief of Realising It's Not Your Fault
When I tell ND parents 'you're not broken,' their shoulders drop. Their faces soften.
Picture this: All of us ND parents sitting around a campfire. Each carrying a heavy backpack stuffed with years of guilt and shame.
Every 'failed' attempt adds another rock to that backpack.
We take that backpack and throw it in the fire. Years of baggage lift off your shoulders. It all melts away in the flames.
The relief floods their faces. They finally get it: they're not broken. They just had the wrong tools.
You're not broken, you're not lazy, and you're not making excuses.
You just need tools designed for your unique brain and chaotic life. That's exactly what this book will show you - a complete system I call Stealth Health.
Your spicy ND family isn't the obstacle. That's your secret weapon.
Stop trying to change who you are to fit NT systems and plans.
Instead, adapt the tools to fit your unique brain and life.
This is when getting results feels almost effortless.
The very things the fitness world tells you to overcome become your greatest strengths.
Your need for flexibility builds unbreakable systems.
Your creativity finds solutions others miss.
Your intensity, when channelled right, creates unstoppable momentum.
You're not broken - you're just getting started.
Now let's look at exactly how ND parents get trapped in cycles that make success feel impossible - and how to break free.